I absentmindedly say something I later (seconds later) wish I didn’t, not that I changed my mind but I simply cant bare the thought of having to defend myself, more so to a crowd who cant, unfortunate for them, take a valid argument as it supposed to be but instead twist it to sound like a sinister accuse or comment and hence brand we as the "propagator of hate".
Gone are the days when I lip-lapped my ideas to them and asked them to please consider the world’s accepted definition of ‘living’ and then perhaps appreciate the fact that I do live up to the standard definition certified by more accepted institutions of thought.
As the process of mind training continues, I do tend to slip up as in this case when I blurted out “I don’t understand your idea of friendship?” in reply to a rather childish pestering following my refusal to a preposterous favour. Only seconds later I followed I up with a clumsy “oops” and a further “don’t mind that ….. There’s a lot in my head…just pretend I never said that” but as you would expect the damage was done.
What followed was an excellent example of girl wining,in which I was pestered, tried, fried, accused , threatened, she went on and on about what a total self-centered moron I was etc etc, the only good thing that I got of it is that she totally forgot the entire point of the conversation(the preposterous favour) .
The point of this post is my argument, which I can freely articulate without mindless interruptions and context less counter-statements. Friendship to me is the understanding and appreciation of two or more characters, it is the sync of thoughts and points of view that create a feeling of bon-homme and the ability to actually take the person in question for granted, what I was put in was nowhere close to that, I was in an awkward situation, In which I was being put under obligation to go completely out of way to do a task that has nothing to do with me for the sake of maintaining a continued acquaintance with this person followed by a threat of ending that relationship, it didn’t ,under all the flowery words, feel like a friend asking for a favour but rather like a lawyer of a multi-national pulling strings based on the fine print of a contract!! Though there was a lot of “please” thrown at me I felt strained and unhappy with the whole situation and a sentence like “I don’t understand your idea of friendship?” is quite an obvious reaction at least in my point of view. But alas it doesn’t work that way here in Noida , so off I go to attend a lecture where am surely gonna meet her and what will follow is either the no eye contact policy or the pretend to forget it ever happened and take revenge later policy.
The continued tales of the twisted life in Noida.
